This week I took on the challenge of building my own custom made coffee table. I have been living in my apartment for 4 months now and the coffee table was still missing. The reason I had not gone out and bought one was simply because there was not one that I liked. Correction, the one that I did like came from a well known store called Restoration Hardware and since I didn't have $2,500 laying around I could not buy it. As a passive person who takes no for an answer occasionally, it shocked me that this time NO was not an option. I think the true test of a proving your a man's man is being dropped in the middle of the mountains of nowhere and killing bears with your bare hands and building log cabins out of twigs while drop kicking raccoon and rabbits for food, I.E. Chuck Norris, is the ultimate test of manliness. Since I don't know where the closest forest is I took the second route of building my own furniture... It's not my fault I live in NYC because I would be happy to take on the Chuck Norris wilderness challenge, though I would prepare my funeral first.
I brought together a few pieces of hard wood and built a crate style shell. From there I sand blasted the shit out of the table with my impressive arm motions and then I waltzed out of my apartment and put on some Bob Marley music while staining the wood on the sidewalk. I mean come on it's NYC, I'm sure seeing a white dude listening to Bob Marley staining wood without his shirt on, thank you Mr. Andrew Tomaszewski, on the sidewalk is on the bottom of the scale of weird shit they have seen in the city. After Staining and drying the table I went out to the chinatown plumbing supply where I attempted to speak Chinglish (Not racist because the Chinaman helping me coined that term). Basically I was speaking with my hands in short syllabled words. After a back in forth for 20 minutes and chatting about where the best noodles in town are, I bought four galvanized rustic pipe legs with end cap closures, say that 5 times fast. With a little bit of ingenuity and common sense I put the final pieces together and voila, a bespoke custom made coffee table. Proving my theory that bespoke is not only for fashion and that the circle of continuing creation is always key to keeping the mind fresh and constantly creative. A jack of all trades can also be a master at some. Now if I can only find some coasters for my ignorant house guests.